Get your baubles out, give the bird a good stuffing and dribble cream on the pudding; its smutty panto time and Excess All Areas are happy to oblige with their annual show now relocated to the Lost Theatre in Stockwell.
You don't need to worry about the plot, the cast don't. It's part parody of theatre-land, part parody of pantos with a sprinkling of satire and a big dose of silliness and smut.
The baddie is Nigel Garage a leder-hosen wearing (and not much else), French-hating, dog worrier played by Matt Overfield. Biatch (Jamie Anderson) is an acerbic drag queen with a tea pot as a servant (Paul L Martin), a teapot with a chip on her shoulder. And Booty (Holly Aisbitt) wears a costume suspiciously similar to that she wore for Alice in Poundland a couple of years ago and has a derriere that would put Kim Kardashian's in the shade.
There are songs with adapted lyrics, a hobby horse called Cheryl Cole, corpsing, forgotten lines and ad libs to the many heckles from the loyal fans of Excess All Areas. A livelier panto I dare you to find.
Strictly adults only and a strictly limit run (it finishes on the 17th) this may well be just what you need as the silly season grinds into full swing. It starts as 8.15pm and the run time seems to depend on just how much the audience gets involved and how much the cast bother with the script. There is an interval though to top up the drinks which are actively encouraged in the auditorium.