It's just sitting in the dark watching people talking on stage, right?
Wrong. Theatre-going is one huge mess of social awkwardness for us Brits and here's why:
1. Feeling you have to apologise when you stand up to let someone get to their seat.
2. Or finding yourself apologising for not standing up fast enough to let someone get to their seat.
3. Sitting on the front row and trying to look 'interested and entertained' just in case one of the actors meets your eye.
4. Then deciding you can never see that actor on the stage ever again because they caught you yawning or accidentally pulling a face when they did look at you.
5. At the interval, apologising for disturbing the couple at the end of the row despite the fact that they failed to notice everyone else had stood up and was waiting for them to move.
6. During a prolonged nude scene, fixing your eyes on a piece of the set just over the actor's shoulder because you don't want to seem like a perve for looking at their privates.
7. Arriving at your front row seats to find it is ones of those plays when the actors are already on stage and then feeling like you have to have an interesting conversation with your companion, just in case one of the actors can hear.
8. Wanting to watch the actors already on stage but feeling like you can't because your Mum taught you not to stare and everyone around you is just ignoring them.
9. Feeling bad for ignoring the actors when they are already on stage because looking at them feels too awkward.
10. Giving a standing ovation, even though you didn't think it was 'that' good, because everyone around you is and you don't want to draw attention to yourself.
What makes you feel Britishly awkward at the theatre?
If you aren't feeling too awkward, you might like:
Julie, National Theatre - Vanessa Kirby plays and unravelling, modern rich-bitch.
Translations, National Theatre - language, storytelling and leaving wanting more.
Killer Joe, Trafalgar Studios - The good and bad about Killer Joe
Photo by Shrinkin' Violet on Flickr and used under a creative commons license.